Sinking In The Past
by LooGap
Summary: Daiki yearns for the feeling of a boy who didn't know what loss was.


A/N: All rights go to proper owners. I do not own Kuroko no Basket.

* * *

Aomine Daiki lay sprawled on the bathroom floor (fully-clothed, mind you), scrolling through old emails between him and his mother.

 _Mom, I got into Teiko! I'm so excited! The basketball team is said to be the strongest in the nation! I can't wait to join the team! The first day of school is soon! Club sign-ups are being held then, and I'm definitely signing up! Do you think I'll do good?_

The cool bathroom tiles sent chills racing down Daiki's back. Afternoon light filtered in through the supposedly shut curtains, dappling the floor with light spots. The air smelled surprisingly pleasant, scented like aloe blossoms, the air-fresheners that had been installed a few weeks ago doing their job. There were steady drops of water dripping from the sink faucet, plopping down continuously.

 _You're going to shine, sweetheart._

His phone buzzed as it indicated an incoming text. Daiki barely spared the message a glance. It was from Satsuki, telling him to come to basketball practice. She must know by now that it's pointless to keep reminding him when he deliberately skipped practices.

 _Really? Thanks, Mom! I played street basketball today with some high schoolers, and it was so much fun! I almost won! Satsuki was there watching too!_

A small smile edged onto Daiki's lips.

 _That's wonderful! Can you tell Satsuki-chan that I say hi?_

"My mom says hi, Satsuki," Daiki murmured softly out loud, half-jokingly. It didn't matter anymore. It was a request from about four years ago.

 _Sure! She says she's going to become the manager for the boys' basketball team!_

 _I think she'll do a great job with that._

 _So do I!_

The email thread had ended there. Daiki scrolled up, skimming past other conversations between him and his mother, the memories running beneath his fingers. On random, he selected another set of emails to look through.

 _I got in the first string! There are so many talented players in the team, Mom. Most of them are my age! There's this short but scary and skilled red haired boy who just gives out CAPTAIN VIBES, a tall green haired shooter who has AMAZING accuracy, and this super duper tall purple haired boy who can like, block EVERYTHING._

Cocking an eyebrow in mock disgust, Daiki found himself laughing inwardly at his words. Had he really been this childish and free in middle school?

 _Wow! I would love to meet all of them if I get the chance. Congratulations on getting into first string, Daiki! We should have a celebration once I'm able to go home._

His internal laughter came to an abrupt stop.

 _Yeah. That would be great. When are you coming home, Mom?_

Narrowing his eyes, Daiki felt a sense of pity for the clueless young boy he had been.

 _Don't worry, honey. Soon! While I'm gone, make sure to do all the chores! And don't forget to completely turn off the sink faucet, Daiki. You always manage to forget._

 _Drip._ Slowly, Daiki turned his attention to the sound. It was the sink faucet. Propping himself up on his elbows, he peeked above the counter to see that the faucet was indeed not twisted off completely and was letting drops of water leak out. He gave the taps a hard wrench, effectively cutting off the dripping water. Then he glanced back down at his phone.

 _Don't worry! I won't forget!_

He had the strange urge to laugh again. Here he was, four years later, still forgetting to fully turn off the taps.

 _I'm sure you totally will._

 _Hey!_

Daiki swiped up continuously before clicking on another random email thread, this time from two years ago.

 _There's this new guy who came up to the first string, Mom! His name is Kise! He's pretty good for someone who's started basketball only recently! I still think I can beat him though. Akashi assigned Kuroko to be his mentor!_

Ah, that time when Kise first joined. Now that had been a roller coaster ride of fun.

 _Lovely! It's good for you to have a great rival!_

How Daiki wished he could tell her about how nobody could beat him except himself now. How he was too overwhelmingly strong that his opponents gave up on trying to fight.

 _Yeah! We're aiming to win nationals again this year!_

 _I have absolute faith that your team will be able to win, Daiki. I'll be cheering you on!_

 _Thanks Mom!_

The email thread ended. He went on to the next.

 _Oh my gosh, Mom, today was so much fun! We had a school festival! There was this one race where the prize for winning was a pair of LeBron James shoes! We needed to be in pairs for the competition, so I paired up with Kise! We didn't win though. But we were super close!_

A chuckle escaped from his mouth. He remembered that day. Let's just say it was very interesting.

 _LeBron James shoes!? That's amazing! I'll buy you a pair of LeBron James shoes sometime, okay? Even though you didn't win, you must have had a great time!_

 _Okay! Thanks Mom! And it_ was _really fun!_

On to the next.

 _Mom, we won our second national championship!_

 _Congratulations, Daiki! Send your team my best regards._

 _Thanks! I will!_

On to the next.

 _I got my report card back._

 _And?_

 _Um...I may or may not have failed more than half of my subjects._

 _Oh goodness gracious, Daiki. Please try to study harder. When I get home, I'm going to whip that brain of yours into shape._

 _Eek!_

On to the next.

 _We went to a karaoke booth today! We as in me, Kise, Tetsu, Satsuki, Murasakibara, Midorima, and surprisingly Akashi. It was hilarious! You should have seen Midorima trying to sing. But who knew Kise was so good at karaoke? He sang some Britney Spears and went around pretending to seduce everyone. It made me realize that I certainly hang out with a bunch of crazy people._

 _Oh, I wish I could have seen that! I can almost imagine it; you describe your teammates to me in such detail I feel like I truly know all of them. And Daiki, life isn't interesting if you don't hang out with crazy people. So be glad they're your friends._

On to the next.

 _We made it through the semi-finals, Mom._

 _Congratulations! I'll be cheering you on for the finals!_

Daiki continued to a conversation from about one year ago, where he began to let out his doubts about basketball to his mother.

 _We won our third Inter High national championship, Mom._

 _Good job, dear!_

 _Thanks…_

 _Is something wrong?_

 _Mom, I don't know how to say this. I feel like I'm losing interest in basketball. My opponents are just giving up whenever I go all out. It's no fun when nobody is trying to fight against me. Everybody is just too weak...or am I getting too strong? I don't know anymore, Mom. I feel like a monster._

 _You are not a monster, Daiki. Listen to me. If basketball is truly your passion then you should keep doing it. If not, I will still support you no matter what path you choose. Follow your heart._

A lump began to form in his throat. He had tried to follow her advice. Tried, but the result was utter destruction. The utter destruction of him, his heart, and his precious teammates.

 _When are you coming home, Mom?_

 _Ah, the doctors aren't sure. I'm so sorry, Daiki. I promise to get better so that I can see you again._

His chest tightened. The promise had been broken. He never saw her again. What a delusional, innocent kid he'd been back then. He had actually believed something would go right in his life for once. As if.

Daiki quickly selected another random one, desperate to erase the painful memories, before immediately regretting his choice. It was one of the last emails his mother had ever sent to him.

 _Daiki, I love you so much. You're my precious son and only child. I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person. I'm sorry it had to end this way. I'm so sorry I couldn't keep my promise. Daiki, I know we're 6,000 miles apart, but believe me when I say that you are right beside me in my heart and always will be. Make sure to be kind to your father and to the Momoi family. Make sure to always pursue your dreams and your passions. And sweetheart, if you truly love basketball, make sure to continue playing and always go to practices. I have absolute faith in your future and I know you can do great things. I'm so sorry I have to leave you. I hope that one day, you will finally be free and happy. I love you Daiki. Forever and always, Mom._

Fuck. Why had he chosen this one? Why? His knuckles turned bone white as he gripped the phone harder and harder. It was all he could do to lay there and breath.

 _Mom? Why are you saying goodbye? What's wrong? I'll see you again, right?_

 _Mom! You aren't answering! You always answer right after I send an email! Mom!_

 _Mom….why? Why are you saying it's all ending? Nothing's ending! I'm going to see you again, right? We didn't even get to celebrate me getting into first string together yet. I've been waiting for three years. When are you coming home?_

 _You're getting better, right? You're fighting the sickness, right? You're going to come home from the American hospital healthy, right? We're going to go shopping together once you come back and buy LeBron James shoes, right? We're going to watch the NBA together, right? I'm going to see you again, right?_

 _Mom, please just answer me!_

The only reply he had ever gotten was one letter.

 _D_

Daiki stared hard at the letter. It came with a sense of finality that he hadn't understood back then. It seemed as if his mother had been in the middle of typing his name when her life line finally shut down.

He tossed his phone aside. He didn't want to remember. Why had he even been looking through old conversations between him and his mother? Daiki couldn't recall.

Lying there for what felt like eternity, Daiki inhaled a deep breath. The fragrance of aloe blossoms pleasantly filled his nostrils. It was his mother's favorite scent. When his father had asked him what kind of scent he wanted the new air fresheners to be, Daiki had answered 'aloe blossoms' without any hesitation. His father had paused for a moment before saying, "I think she would like that." He didn't have to say who 'she' was. Daiki knew.

His mother's words echoed inside his head. _And sweetheart, if you truly love basketball, make sure to continue playing and always go to practices._

Daiki got up onto his feet.

* * *

"Momoi, was he not on the rooftop?" It was the Touou boys' basketball team's captain, Imayoshi Shoichi. He looked to be in a rather sour mood today, a dark aura flaring around him. And he seemed unusually pissed that Aomine wasn't at practice. Everyone was tiptoeing around him, except for his friend Susa Yoshinori, who must be used to his moodiness by now.

Momoi Satsuki shook her head. "No, he was not, senpai. I can't think of anywhere else Aomine-kun could be. I've been calling him too, but he won't pick up."

"I don't think calling him will work. He has one of those ancient phones from the B.C. era. I don't know why it's been functioning for this long. I don't get why he doesn't just buy a new one," Susa commented.

Wakamatsu Kousuke was steaming with anger. "Ugh, that brat! I'm going to hunt him down and drag his butt over here!" He dribbled a basketball to the goal and dunked the ball in the hoop with force fueled by fury, making the rim shake from the impact.

"I'm so sorry!" Typical Sakurai Ryou.

Furrowing her pencil thin eyebrows, Momoi tried to brainstorm other places Aomine could be at. "He could be at home...but that possibility is rare."

Just as Imayoshi opened his mouth to suggest something, realization suddenly hit Momoi.

"Ah! It's his mother's birthday today!" she blurted out loudly. All of the other Touou players peered curiously at her.

"His mother's birthday?" Imayoshi repeated. "Now is that a good reason to be skipping?"

"Senpai, do you have a heart of stone?" Momoi asked feelingly. She was glad that she managed not to reveal that Aomine's mother had passed away about year and a half ago and that her birthday gave no little grief to Aomine.

All of a sudden, the gym doors opened with a bang. There stood Aomine Daiki, sporting a dark blue tank top and white shorts. The team stared at him for a moment. The moment turned into a few seconds. The few seconds turned into a minute. The minute turned into five minutes. It was about to go on for longer until Aomine interrupted grumpily.

"What are you all staring at?"

"Aomine actually came to practice by his own will!" Wakamatsu gaped at him.

"Shut it, Wakamatsu. I just do whatever I want," Aomine brushed it off and knelt down to the ground, swiftly tying his shoelaces.

Wakamatsu gave him a heated glare. "Don't forget your honorifics!"

Ignoring him, Aomine stood and up arched his back in a small stretch. He turned to Momoi and said in the laziest, most nonchalant voice ever, "Oi, Satsuki. My mom says hi."

Momoi froze and stared at him hard for a moment. Aomine's eyes seemed distant and unfocused, as if caught up in a deep memory. "Y-your mom says...wait, what? Your mom is...o-oh, okay. Um...tell her I said hi too," Momoi finished awkwardly, not being able to help her startled stuttering.

Nodding absentmindedly, Aomine began to shoot some hoops. Momoi watched him carefully, concerning clouding her eyes. He seemed lost...yet at the same time found. Something must have happened... Imayoshi tapped her on the shoulder and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Is it just me," he hissed. "Or are Aomine's eyes kind of red and puffy?"

They were indeed quite bloodshot, a tint of red that could only be painted by tears. A sudden intuition hit her of what must have happened.

Momoi gazed at him sadly and said, "Yes, they are. I do believe he will be alright though," because she knew.

* * *

That night, Momoi lay on her bed, scrolling through old email conversations between her and Daiki's mother. She selected the last message she had received from her, only a few sparse minutes before his mother's death, if the information she had discovered about her time of death was accurate.

 _Satsuki, you are an incredibly sweet girl and I love you. You are like the daughter I never had. Please continue to take care of Daiki. I trust no one else to care for him with such love and patience as you do. Thank you for standing by him and supporting through all those years when I couldn't. Goodbye._

Sighing, Momoi opened her bedroom curtains and looked out the window, gazing up the starlit sky.

"I hope I'm doing a good job of taking care of him, Auntie," she murmured softly.

* * *

Daiki opened up a new email draft on his phone and typed in the familiar email address of his mother's that had been collecting dust. There, he wrote:

 _Mom, Satsuki says hi._

He clicked the send button and watched as a message that would never be read by the recipient was sent.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading!


End file.
